Just "do things properly, or not at all."
How often do you hear this or find yourself saying it? So what does "doing something properly" look like to you? Or does it seem like it should be obvious?
A little while ago I worked with a manager who was particularly quality driven, and she was very frustrated with a colleague who she felt didn't do a document "properly".
I asked her to describe in detail what instructions she had given. And then I asked her to describe what she had been hoping for. In other words, what did doing the document "properly" look and feel like - to her? She began to realise that she had expected her colleague to "just know" what should be in it, what it should do and how it should look. (And unstapled and re-stapled wasn't it!)
Her colleague on the other hand simply had no idea of what she had been expecting and what's more, by nature did not see or recognise "quality" in the same way as the manager did - she was just keen to meet the deadline, as that's what was naturally more important to her.
Our communication (and expectation) is formed as result of instinctive priorities, which in turn are motivated by talents. Abilities to see, sense and do something that things that come very naturally to us. Misunderstanding happens when we use phrases, based on our talent and because that's what makes sense to us, but which often mean something completely different to who is listening. This is because we also listen through filters created by our talent too!
What phrases do you use that could potentially be causing unintended confusion? How about "ASAP"? Which means when exactly? Or "just tidy that up a bit"? Which means fixing or changing what exactly? Or even "I'm sure you know what I mean?" Do they really? And one of my personal favourites: "I don't like being micro-managed" - so how much managing is "micro-managing"? Every human will interpret these phrases according to their own way of seeing things.
Every human will interpret phrases like these according to their own natural way of seeing or doing things. So when working with someone, consider a quick audit of the phrases you usually use to describe what needs to be done - and what your unspoken expectations are. This can go can go a really long way to helping those around you understand what you are expecting as an outcome, and why this is what's needed. This in turn can help avoid frustration and disappointment - and more importantly also build trust.
#Communication #Expectations #LanguageOfOurStrengths #TeamMediation #Trust
